For the Dazed and Confused

Lazy Sundays filled with listening to Vampire Weekend whilst drinking hot coffee and diving into books about modern art have instilled me with the inspiration to type out just what I have been feeling lately. Without further ado, here we go.

Lately, I've been stuck in my own thoughts more than I normally am. Bouncing back and forth within the four walls of my own mind, I've been trying to crack the code of what I truly want out of life. The only answer that I have come up with so far?

I don't know.

But do you know what else?

That's okay.

I'm the type of girl who enjoys the thrill of spontaneous adventures at two o'clock in the morning, but who also can't wait to be enveloped in the comfort of her own bed. I love to binge watch TV shows, but I also want to read for days at a time. I have aspirations to travel the entire world, but I can also be a bit of a homebody.

I have so many dreams that I want to pursue that I'm still unsure of what to place my finger on at the moment. Taking life on day at a time is one of the greatest challenges that I find myself continuously facing.

As much as I would love to have my life figured out by now, I'm also aware that that's not exactly going to happen. At nineteen-years old, I'm infatuated with the concept of having my future mapped out so that I have an idea of what is going to happen down the line. In order for that to happen, however, I need to have a solid grasp on what I want.

And right now, I'm not certain in what I want exactly because I want to experience everything.

I want to be able to live for myself. Do what I want, go where I want to go, and be who I want to without having to schedule my life around anyone else. I'm content with where I am right now, but there's also so much more that I want to get out of this short lifetime.

Dazed and confused is perhaps the best way to sum up my current predicament. I have a long journey ahead of me at such a young age, but I'm ready for it. I can't control everything and I will get to where I want to be in due time.

And if I do end up figuring everything out by some circumstantial one in a million chance, I'll be sure to let you know.