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Sunday, January 3, 2016
The Cycle of a Long Distance Relationship
After four long months, I was finally reunited with my beloved boyfriend once again this past week. We have been in a long distance relationship for about one year now, and he has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma since October.
Before going back to Oklahoma to graduate and then head to AIT training for the National Guard in Missouri until mid-March, we were able to spend five wonderful days together. It might not seem like much to the average person but, to us, it was everything.
I've written about long distance relationships and how to stay positive in them back in October of 2015, before my boyfriend left. I want to add on with a fresh perspective and more thoughts, especially for those who have never had to deal with the stress of a long distance relationship before.
When somebody means everything, distance becomes such a small concept. Even when the waiting feels like years, you can't really imagine being as excited for anything else.
Once the days start becoming fewer and the countdown decreases with each passing moment, the anticipation only heightens. Everything finally starts to fall into place, and the day that you know you will be together again consumes your wildest dreams.
The day finally comes. It's here. Butterflies fill your stomach like nothing that you have ever felt before, until at last - you see the one you love the most. A familiar spark flickers before your eyes and you simply can't believe how you managed to go without being in their arms for so long, because that is where your heart is.
Each and every second spent together is just one more second that you wouldn't want to spend with anyone else. Watching Grey's Anatomy for hours and venturing to art museums become some of the best times that you have had in a while. Together again with the love of your life, and nothing can destroy that feeling.
But then it comes. The day that you've been putting off in the back of your mind because you've been dreading it since before your love has even arrived - the day where they have to leave once again. Even waking up becomes a sad affair, because you don't want the contents of the rest of the day to occur.
You help them pack their things (as much as you don't want to) while jokingly attempting to get them to stay. As much as you don't want to leave each other, there are some things in life that just have to happen. You'll be together soon enough, but this is not the time.
The drive to the airport or to the bus station is one of the saddest trips to endure. There's so much that the both of you want to say, but it's too hard to express at this time. So, you sit in near silence as you promise yourself that you won't cry this time because you cry every single time and maybe this time will be different (spoiler alert: it won't be).
You help them get their luggage out, despite your best last efforts to get them to stay with you. You look at each other for a brief few seconds before embracing, and that's when the waterworks make their first big appearance.
Between final goodbyes and many wiped tears, you take one last look at each other before you depart ways. Leaving feels just a little bit emptier than it has the last few times, and the countdowns are reset.
Learning to cherish every little thing in life is a lesson that I believe everyone can take part in. No matter how tough things get or how different you wish that things were, appreciate what you do have.
And if you're in a long distance relationship right now, just remember - miles can't separate two hearts that truly care.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Bringing Back Snail Mail
For almost two months, my boyfriend has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Training for the National Guard, he is essentially cut off from the outside world until Christmas time. Even after New Years, he still has to go back to finish out boot camp before beginning Advanced Individual Training (or AIT).
Having only gotten two calls from him, sending letters back and forth is the only way that we have been able to communicate with each other. It seemed odd to me at first, but it has turned into something that I look forward to each and every day. I find myself going to my mailbox every day of the week in hopes of a letter from the love of my life.
If you had asked me one year ago if I would have expected to be where I am now, I probably would have said that you're crazy. I anticipated things to be so different, but I'm not so sure that I would change them.
Writing letters has proven to be so much more meaningful than sending a text message. A simple "What's up" has turned into "How is life? What have you been up to? What's new in school?" and I am not sure that I would trade that for anything.
Receiving letters from my favorite person excites me more than I ever could have imagined. While this form of communication might not be as immediate as I might like, it is so much more personal and really gives me something to look forward too.
I know that he enjoys receiving letters from me as well, and I absolutely love writing them to him and just thinking about his reactions upon opening them. ( I might be biased as a writer saying this, but I am nerdy and it is the truth.)
Although our circumstances brought us back to "snail mail," I have found myself rekindling my love for conversing via the postal system. If anything, I feel as if it has made our relationship stronger. Being able to be completely open and express emotions in such a raw manner through pen ink scribbled onto lined paper is such an honest concept. Whenever I open a letter from him, I feel like I am holding a piece of him and what he has to say.
This experience has really drawn me closer to the notion of writing to people more often. My younger sister has even asked me to write to her even though we talk via text message on a daily basis, and I am appreciative of that. I am afraid that the younger generations will lose touch with writing letters because they are so connected to the digital world.
Don't get me wrong, I am all for the technology of today and talking virtually. I just fear that letters will become a lost concept if the digital world becomes a main source of communication for everyone.
Buy a sheet of stamps. Pick up a box of envelopes and some lined paper or stationary. Take your best pen and scrawl your heart out onto the pages for those that you love. It may take a second to send a text message, but it takes a couple of business days to make someone really smile.
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