The Error in Trying to Make Everyone Happy

 

I actually had a completely different mindset for what I was going to write about today, but I found this ominously titled blank post in my drafts. Irony has a funny way of sneaking up on me most days, but this is one topic that I probably relate the most to right now. In some ways, I feel like I'm about to write this all out more so for myself than for others. Regardless, I'm sure that I'm not the only one who can take a lesson out of this.

It's an impossible feat to set your sight on making each and every person happy. You're in control of your life and what you want to do, no matter how much good you want to do unto others. You have a brain, believe it or not, and it's about damn time you get to think for yourself. If you realize that you're trying to impress someone more than taking care of yourself, it might be time to check your priorities.

It. Is. Okay. To. Say. NO. Becoming wrapped up in trying to please anyone is probably near the top of a long list of my biggest faults. I've dealt with a lot (and I'm still dealing with some, sigh) very manipulative people who will make me feel like shit if I don't get dinner with them or text them back right away. It's more than okay to have different agendas and to hang out with different people. If you've been dealing with someone who has been a toxic influence in your life, it might be time to cut the cord.

It's your life -- point blank. Stay focused on keeping yourself happy before you invest all of your time and effort into those around you. No matter how important someone is to you, you're only human. There's only so much you can do for others, and it's your right to be able to make your own decisions.

Breathing When You're Busy

My schedule while I'm in school makes each day a whirlwind of responsibilities. In between classes, work, extracurricular activities and general housekeeping duties, finding a break in the day for myself is a nearly impossible task.

Instead of sleeping in for an extra hour or two each day (as tempting as it sounds some mornings), I have been finding that early mornings are the only times that I am genuinely able to find time for myself right now.

The first vibrant rays of sunlight that break through my tiny dorm room window clash with the steam rising from my bold mug(s) of coffee. I soak up and breathe in every second of these sweet few hours, because I am aware of the chaos that will ensue in my life in the rest of the day to come.

If any of you have followed along with my rambling and can relate to any tidbit of this, keep reading.

I'm notorious for stressing out about most things, as much as I deny it. I tend to worry, plain and simple. So, what do I do to detox my frustrations and anxiety before my busy days?

One word: meditation.

I learned more about meditation a few months ago, but had never really applied it to my routine until lately. Structured breathing can work wonders for the mind and for the soul. I was once a skeptic at how helpful it would actually be for me, but now I swear by it . . . funny how life works that way.

As soon as I get out of bed in the morning, I draw in deep breaths and smoothly exhale them for a few minutes. If I have time, I throw in some yoga as well.

Before I lose myself in raving about my newfound routine any longer, let me just leave you all with one thing. If you found nothing useful from my thoughts in this post, just remember these two words if you find yourself panicking or stressed . . .

Just breathe.

The Perfect Morning Routine

Happy Friday! After browsing through Pinterest this morning over a cup of coffee, I came across something that I had to write about, called "The Perfect College Morning Routine." Of course, if you aren't in college, that's fine too.

Blogger Courtney from aswestumblealong.com (awesome site that I wholeheartedly recommend, by the way), put together six steps for a wonderful morning routine that I really wanted to share with all of you. Even if you aren't a morning person, I definitely suggest incorporating some of the following methods into your own post-wake up regimen.

1. Silence 
Try start off by waking a lot earlier than you need to, in order for you to get a head start on your day and boosting your overall health. Spend about ten minutes on silence and meditation to get in tune with yourself. This is a simple yet effective relaxation technique as well.

2. Affirmations
 Positivity is key. Write down some statements and goals for a couple of minutes that you wants to be in the future (i.e. I am at peace with myself, I will not let stress take over, etc.) and read them over to yourself more than five times. By doing so, you're instilling these words into your brain to really make them a reality for yourself.

3. Visualization
Last night, I spend a few hours live-tweeting and reporting on a fascinating visual communications seminar, which is why I find this point so ironic.

Try taking a few minutes to meditate and visualize yourself being who you want to be in the future. I attended a meditation course about a month ago and I can attest to the fact that this really works. Not only does it wash a sense of peace over you, but it really boosts confidence as well. Posting images of your goals on social media (mainly Pinterest) is also a great way to visualize your plans.

4. Exercise
 Even if it's brief and in your room, working a few exercises into your schedule for ten to fifteen minutes is a great way to heighten energy levels and to help you get into a productive mindset. Yoga is a great way to be active after waking up.

5. Reading
Truth be told, I've always been a bit of a bookworm myself. For five or ten minutes, incorporate reading a favorite book of yours or some great articles pertaining to your goals.

6. Scribing
If you haven't caught on yet, I adore writing, and journaling is one of my favorite methods to unwind. Take five minutes out of your morning to collect your thoughts in a book, write some poetry, or whatever your heart desires. There are great writing prompt tools out there to help you along the way if you get stuck.

Personally, I can't wait to put these ideas into practice and make them a daily habit. Thanks, Courtney!!

Dear High School Girls

Over the weekend, circumstances brought me back to a high school. As a sophomore in college, it's been a while since I've been sitting on a set of gym bleachers, surrounded by high school students anxious to celebrate homecoming. One thing that really stuck out to me was the cliques of high school girls around me, and how I was in their place only a few years ago. It really got me thinking about how I wish someone had given me some advice while I was still there, so that's what I'm going to do now for you girls.

Stop getting yourself involved in "drama." It's petty, it isn't worth it, and it honestly amounts to nothing in the end.  When you graduate, are you even going to remember the reason why you stopped talking to your best friend for a week? Sure, you'll probably learn to laugh about it down the road, but there's no use in getting yourself worked up about something stupid.

Which brings me to my second point: boys. You don't have to try so hard to "impress" a guy that you like, and if you do, he's not someone that you want to be with. If you do have a boyfriend, make sure that you don't devote 100% of your time to him and only him. You're going to find that if you do that, you're going to lose valuable friendships along the way. You'll go through your fair share of heartbreak, but what you don't realize now is that you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to worry about relationships and finding someone that you want to be with. Chances are, you'll find him in the most unsuspecting place. For now, worry about finding yourself.

High school is one of the biggest opportunities to find out who you really are. If you want to join a club or take up a hobby that other people think is lame, do it anyways! The only thing that matters is if you are happy, not about "following the crowd." Be your own person and make your own happiness.

These four years are such a small portion of your life compared to what is to come. If you're going to college, you're going to discover that there's a whole world out there that you have yet to discover. Everything will work itself out, even if it doesn't seem like it. I promise that you will find happiness in the oddest of places. Right now, focus on your friendships and doing well in your classes. Forget the negative and do what you want to do, because in the end, it makes all the difference.

11 Ways to Stay Calm During Midterms

Feeling stressed before taking your midterms? Most students are. Whether you have one test or five, here’s a list of 11 ways to keep your cool during this time of year.

1.)  Remember that break is just around the corner.

Incentives are a great thing to help you stay focused during a week of tests. If you’re going home for break and you’re excited, that’s definitely something to look forward to. If you aren’t, treat yourself to some online shopping or a much deserved iced coffee.

2.)  Keep in mind that one test or class won’t matter years from now.

Tests do not determine the course of your life. One bad grade will not decide where you end up working or how well you do in the rest of your academic experience. Although you should definitely study and aim for a high grade, don’t get too discouraged by your score if it’s not what you hope for.

3.)  Stay focused.

Your friends’ Snapchat stories can wait. The more important thing to pay attention to is studying and making sure that you know what to expect on your exams. Put your cell phone on silent and turn on some music that won’t distract you.

4.)  Don’t overthink things.

Personally, I know that I have a major tendency to overthink everything when it comes to tests and what might be on them. Instead of trying to retain every last bit of information from your readings and/or notes, try to understand the key points and phrases and what they relate to. That way, when test day rolls around, you’ll be able to see a word or phrase and know what it’s about.

5.)  Use your time wisely.

Cramming the night before a big test is never a good idea. Instead, try spanning out your time and scheduling when you want to study for different classes.

6.)  Try out different study methods.

Flashcards, slideshows, and highlighting textbooks or notes are just a few ways to keep your mind on track with what you need to know. Try a few methods out and see which ones work the best for you.

7.)  Study in different places where you know you’ll stay focused.

Personally, I know that I’ll get distracted in my room. By going to the library or the café on campus, there’s a much better chance that I’ll get things done with limited distractions.

8.)  If you don’t know the answer, take a guess.

Leaving an answer blank on your test isn’t going to get you any points at all. With a guess, you at least have a chance of earning full or partial credit.

9.)  Get plenty of sleep.

One of the most important things to keep in mind is getting enough sleep ahead of time. Taking a test too tired can result in a bad grade. Plus, there’s the added fear of sleeping through every alarm that you set for yourself.

10.) Eat something before the test.

By eating at least a granola bar or an apple before your exam, you’re more likely to focus. Besides, nobody likes to be that kid who’s stomach can’t stop growling in the silence.

11.) Try your best.

No matter what the grade comes out to be, you’ll still know that you tried your hardest. At the end of the day, that’s what counts. Like I said in #2: one bad test grade isn’t going to determine the rest of your life, and it really won’t matter down the road.

Good luck!