The Error in Trying to Make Everyone Happy

 

I actually had a completely different mindset for what I was going to write about today, but I found this ominously titled blank post in my drafts. Irony has a funny way of sneaking up on me most days, but this is one topic that I probably relate the most to right now. In some ways, I feel like I'm about to write this all out more so for myself than for others. Regardless, I'm sure that I'm not the only one who can take a lesson out of this.

It's an impossible feat to set your sight on making each and every person happy. You're in control of your life and what you want to do, no matter how much good you want to do unto others. You have a brain, believe it or not, and it's about damn time you get to think for yourself. If you realize that you're trying to impress someone more than taking care of yourself, it might be time to check your priorities.

It. Is. Okay. To. Say. NO. Becoming wrapped up in trying to please anyone is probably near the top of a long list of my biggest faults. I've dealt with a lot (and I'm still dealing with some, sigh) very manipulative people who will make me feel like shit if I don't get dinner with them or text them back right away. It's more than okay to have different agendas and to hang out with different people. If you've been dealing with someone who has been a toxic influence in your life, it might be time to cut the cord.

It's your life -- point blank. Stay focused on keeping yourself happy before you invest all of your time and effort into those around you. No matter how important someone is to you, you're only human. There's only so much you can do for others, and it's your right to be able to make your own decisions.

Breathing When You're Busy

My schedule while I'm in school makes each day a whirlwind of responsibilities. In between classes, work, extracurricular activities and general housekeeping duties, finding a break in the day for myself is a nearly impossible task.

Instead of sleeping in for an extra hour or two each day (as tempting as it sounds some mornings), I have been finding that early mornings are the only times that I am genuinely able to find time for myself right now.

The first vibrant rays of sunlight that break through my tiny dorm room window clash with the steam rising from my bold mug(s) of coffee. I soak up and breathe in every second of these sweet few hours, because I am aware of the chaos that will ensue in my life in the rest of the day to come.

If any of you have followed along with my rambling and can relate to any tidbit of this, keep reading.

I'm notorious for stressing out about most things, as much as I deny it. I tend to worry, plain and simple. So, what do I do to detox my frustrations and anxiety before my busy days?

One word: meditation.

I learned more about meditation a few months ago, but had never really applied it to my routine until lately. Structured breathing can work wonders for the mind and for the soul. I was once a skeptic at how helpful it would actually be for me, but now I swear by it . . . funny how life works that way.

As soon as I get out of bed in the morning, I draw in deep breaths and smoothly exhale them for a few minutes. If I have time, I throw in some yoga as well.

Before I lose myself in raving about my newfound routine any longer, let me just leave you all with one thing. If you found nothing useful from my thoughts in this post, just remember these two words if you find yourself panicking or stressed . . .

Just breathe.

Actuality vs. Quality

Construing reality into our own fantasy
leaves us craving something
that is never actually there to begin with.

Living our lives, we endure what may cross our paths
and take what we desire,
disposing of the bits and pieces that we can live without.

Trouble is, by throwing away what we do not want
we are left with next to nothing.

Living a minimalistic lifestyle
reveals what is necessary.

Eventually, the line that once defined what was real from imagination vanishes,
leaving us to our own devices.

Accepting Women in the Media

Discrimination is a prevalent force, whether we want to accept it or not. Racism, genderism and sexism are just a few that top the list in today's day and age. As a female journalist, one of the biggest challenges that I see today is the acceptance of women in the media.

Equality in general has been tested over the years, but equality for women has been one of the major issues. A constant fight that many have been fighting against for quite some time now, it seems like a never-ending battle.

There are so many people and figures in the media who have been battling for fairness in the world for women in the work place, school, and in daily life as a whole.

English actress Emma Watson has transformed from a young Muggle wizard to a strong spokeswoman for feminism. Over the past few years, she has spoken out on behalf of women everywhere, earning herself the title of the United Nations Goodwill Ambassador in 2014. Watson has also recently released a statement inviting men to support gender equality as well, which is crucial to the movement.

Pakistani girl Malala Yousafzai survived a shot to the head on her school bus at just fifteen-years old in her stand for women's right to an education in her country. Almost four years later and now at eighteen-years old, Yousafzai continues to stand up for women all over the world and calls them to join her in the fight for gender equality.

Even now, I am literally sitting in an art history class watching the Japanese art of Kabuki theater, another activity that women are prohibited from joining. All of these occurrences prove that sexism isn't just in one area or region - it's all over the world.

I'm currently taking a class about women and minorities in the media and how they have been treated over the years. While the class has only bee in session for about three weeks, we have already went over how discriminatory the people of the newsroom can be. In one instance, my professor had a fellow female journalist in one of her past jobs years ago who would hide in the bathroom whenever one of the men in the office would come into work. Why? Because whenever she walked by, he would pull her down in his lap and humiliate her in front of her co-workers.

But what could she do about it? The men in the office were considered to be superior. If she were to tell someone in higher-up, there is a fair chance that she would not have been taken seriously.

White males have been considered to be higher-ranking over history, and especially in the work place. While it may not be so drastic in the modern world as it has been over the past few centuries, there is no disputing that it still exists in many areas.

The newsroom is one place where the competition between genders has been high throughout the decades. Diversity in the world of journalism is still emerging. Today, Buzzfeed is known to have one of the most diverse newsrooms in the country.

Jane Cunningham Croly and Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman, more famously known as their pen names Jennie June and Nellie Bly, are just two nineteenth century journalists who have paved the way for women today

While we have come a long ways in terms of fighting against discrimination in today's society, the war is far from being won.

For the Dazed and Confused

Lazy Sundays filled with listening to Vampire Weekend whilst drinking hot coffee and diving into books about modern art have instilled me with the inspiration to type out just what I have been feeling lately. Without further ado, here we go.

Lately, I've been stuck in my own thoughts more than I normally am. Bouncing back and forth within the four walls of my own mind, I've been trying to crack the code of what I truly want out of life. The only answer that I have come up with so far?

I don't know.

But do you know what else?

That's okay.

I'm the type of girl who enjoys the thrill of spontaneous adventures at two o'clock in the morning, but who also can't wait to be enveloped in the comfort of her own bed. I love to binge watch TV shows, but I also want to read for days at a time. I have aspirations to travel the entire world, but I can also be a bit of a homebody.

I have so many dreams that I want to pursue that I'm still unsure of what to place my finger on at the moment. Taking life on day at a time is one of the greatest challenges that I find myself continuously facing.

As much as I would love to have my life figured out by now, I'm also aware that that's not exactly going to happen. At nineteen-years old, I'm infatuated with the concept of having my future mapped out so that I have an idea of what is going to happen down the line. In order for that to happen, however, I need to have a solid grasp on what I want.

And right now, I'm not certain in what I want exactly because I want to experience everything.

I want to be able to live for myself. Do what I want, go where I want to go, and be who I want to without having to schedule my life around anyone else. I'm content with where I am right now, but there's also so much more that I want to get out of this short lifetime.

Dazed and confused is perhaps the best way to sum up my current predicament. I have a long journey ahead of me at such a young age, but I'm ready for it. I can't control everything and I will get to where I want to be in due time.

And if I do end up figuring everything out by some circumstantial one in a million chance, I'll be sure to let you know.