The Cycle of a Long Distance Relationship

After four long months, I was finally reunited with my beloved boyfriend once again this past week. We have been in a long distance relationship for about one year now, and he has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma since October.

Before going back to Oklahoma to graduate and then head to AIT training for the National Guard in Missouri until mid-March, we were able to spend five wonderful days together. It might not seem like much to the average person but, to us, it was everything.

I've written about long distance relationships and how to stay positive in them back in October of 2015, before my boyfriend left. I want to add on with a fresh perspective and more thoughts, especially for those who have never had to deal with the stress of a long distance relationship before.

When somebody means everything, distance becomes such a small concept. Even when the waiting feels like years, you can't really imagine being as excited for anything else.


Once the days start becoming fewer and the countdown decreases with each passing moment, the anticipation only heightens. Everything finally starts to fall into place, and the day that you know you will be together again consumes your wildest dreams.

The day finally comes. It's here. Butterflies fill your stomach like nothing that you have ever felt before, until at last - you see the one you love the most. A familiar spark flickers before your eyes and you simply can't believe how you managed to go without being in their arms for so long, because that is where your heart is.

Each and every second spent together is just one more second that you wouldn't want to spend with anyone else. Watching Grey's Anatomy for hours and venturing to art museums become some of the best times that you have had in a while. Together again with the love of your life, and nothing can destroy that feeling.

But then it comes. The day that you've been putting off in the back of your mind because you've been dreading it since before your love has even arrived - the day where they have to leave once again. Even waking up becomes a sad affair, because you don't want the contents of the rest of the day to occur.

You help them pack their things (as much as you don't want to) while jokingly attempting to get them to stay. As much as you don't want to leave each other, there are some things in life that just have to happen. You'll be together soon enough, but this is not the time.

The drive to the airport or to the bus station is one of the saddest trips to endure. There's so much that the both of you want to say, but it's too hard to express at this time. So, you sit in near silence as you promise yourself that you won't cry this time because you cry every single time and maybe this time will be different (spoiler alert: it won't be).

You help them get their luggage out, despite your best last efforts to get them to stay with you. You look at each other for a brief few seconds before embracing, and that's when the waterworks make their first big appearance.

Between final goodbyes and many wiped tears, you take one last look at each other before you depart ways. Leaving feels just a little bit emptier than it has the last few times, and the countdowns are reset.

Learning to cherish every little thing in life is a lesson that I believe everyone can take part in. No matter how tough things get or how different you wish that things were, appreciate what you do have.


And if you're in a long distance relationship right now,  just remember - miles can't separate two hearts that truly care.

Why I Love My Best Friend

My best friend has been by my side for about six years now, so I figured I'd do an appreciation post in honor of such a milestone. I wanted to put this post in a list format, but I quickly realized that the list could go on for pages and pages.

There's a saying, "A true friend is the greatest of all blessings."  No matter the challenges that I'm faced with or the treacherous paths I have to cross in life, I know that she's always going to be there cheering me on.

No matter what I've been going through, she's always been the person that I've been able to fall back on. She's my biggest cheerleader (especially when I'm skipping out at Sectionals). She gives me encouragement when I'm in my lowest of lows and slaps some sense into me when I need it, which I'm always thankful for.

You never truly appreciate an unbreakable friendship until you realize that you can't have the same range of conversations with anyone else, ranging from absolutely ridiculous to the most uplifting. We tell each other absolutely everything, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

We defeated the dreaded middle school years together before we went on to continue our high school experience side-by-side. Now, we're both sophomores in college and we're miles apart. It's so different and I wish we were conquering it together, but we're both pursuing great feats for our futures.

If there's anyone who can get through anything, I know that it's Shelby. She's been faced with a lot (including countless sports injuries), but you'd never know it by the smile on her face. It takes a special person to have such courage, and she has it. I'm not sure I know many people who have a bigger heart, either.

If I could look back and re-tell all of the stories and adventures that we've endured together, I would probably be talking for weeks. We've been through some of the craziest situations together and I really don't think that I've laughed with anyone harder than I have with her. From odd strangers to Pizza Hut floors, we've actually been through everything. I love you, and thank you for being my best friend, Shelby Claire Grove (and I hope your stubbed toe feels better)!

8 Ways to Stay Positive Through Distance

Distance sucks. There’s no way around it at all. Right now, I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is leaving for basic training in five days and I won’t be able to be with him or really talk to him all that much until January. Having not seen each other since August, we make time amidst our busy schedules to Face Time and talk on the phone while we still can. If you’re in a similar situation, here’s a list of eight ways to stay positive (from personal experience).

1.)  Look through old pictures.

Looking back on some of my favorite memories is something that lets me know that, even though we’re apart right now, there’s plenty of opportunities to make more in the future.

2.)  Keep yourself busy.

One thing that really helps me keep my mind from dwelling on negative thoughts is making sure that I have a lot on my plate, schedule-wise. I’m not saying get involved in so many things that you can't breathe, but do enough to keep yourself occupied. Having fun and doing what you love is important!  

3.)  When you are together, make every second count.

Cell phones and social media have a tendency to take over our attention spans, whether we realize it or not. When you actually are with each other, set the cell phones aside and put them on silent - the cell phones will be there everyday, but your significant other won’t be.

4.)  Motivate each other.

Being so far apart means being extra supportive for each other. You both have aspirations and dreams. Cheer them on, no matter what goals they have in mind. While you might not be there physically, let each other know that you’re always by their side.

5.)  Stay updated on each other’s lives.

If you haven’t always been a long distance couple, you might have been with them everyday once upon a time. If you can’t do that right now, ask each other how your days have been. Including funny details can make it seem like you’re not so far apart.

6.)  Remember to stay focused on yourself.

Obviously, you’re going to be missing your significant other a lot. Regardless, one of the most important things to keep in mind is to stay focused on yourself and what makes you happy. You know yourself better than anyone else, so make sure that you are okay before worrying or stressing out too much.

7.)  Surround yourself with people who love and care about you.

It’s not always going to be easy. You aren’t going to be cheery 100% of the time. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but it also leaves you with a temporary feeling of emptiness. Hang out with your friends and family as much as possible. Laugh, have fun, and look at the bright side of life instead of what you can’t change.

8.)  Count the days.

Remember, you aren’t going to be apart from each other forever. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow - but sometime in the future, you'll be together. Look forward to the day that you’re reunited with your loved one, and think of the sparkle that you’ll get in your eyes when you’re with each other once again.