The Cycle of a Long Distance Relationship

After four long months, I was finally reunited with my beloved boyfriend once again this past week. We have been in a long distance relationship for about one year now, and he has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma since October.

Before going back to Oklahoma to graduate and then head to AIT training for the National Guard in Missouri until mid-March, we were able to spend five wonderful days together. It might not seem like much to the average person but, to us, it was everything.

I've written about long distance relationships and how to stay positive in them back in October of 2015, before my boyfriend left. I want to add on with a fresh perspective and more thoughts, especially for those who have never had to deal with the stress of a long distance relationship before.

When somebody means everything, distance becomes such a small concept. Even when the waiting feels like years, you can't really imagine being as excited for anything else.


Once the days start becoming fewer and the countdown decreases with each passing moment, the anticipation only heightens. Everything finally starts to fall into place, and the day that you know you will be together again consumes your wildest dreams.

The day finally comes. It's here. Butterflies fill your stomach like nothing that you have ever felt before, until at last - you see the one you love the most. A familiar spark flickers before your eyes and you simply can't believe how you managed to go without being in their arms for so long, because that is where your heart is.

Each and every second spent together is just one more second that you wouldn't want to spend with anyone else. Watching Grey's Anatomy for hours and venturing to art museums become some of the best times that you have had in a while. Together again with the love of your life, and nothing can destroy that feeling.

But then it comes. The day that you've been putting off in the back of your mind because you've been dreading it since before your love has even arrived - the day where they have to leave once again. Even waking up becomes a sad affair, because you don't want the contents of the rest of the day to occur.

You help them pack their things (as much as you don't want to) while jokingly attempting to get them to stay. As much as you don't want to leave each other, there are some things in life that just have to happen. You'll be together soon enough, but this is not the time.

The drive to the airport or to the bus station is one of the saddest trips to endure. There's so much that the both of you want to say, but it's too hard to express at this time. So, you sit in near silence as you promise yourself that you won't cry this time because you cry every single time and maybe this time will be different (spoiler alert: it won't be).

You help them get their luggage out, despite your best last efforts to get them to stay with you. You look at each other for a brief few seconds before embracing, and that's when the waterworks make their first big appearance.

Between final goodbyes and many wiped tears, you take one last look at each other before you depart ways. Leaving feels just a little bit emptier than it has the last few times, and the countdowns are reset.

Learning to cherish every little thing in life is a lesson that I believe everyone can take part in. No matter how tough things get or how different you wish that things were, appreciate what you do have.


And if you're in a long distance relationship right now,  just remember - miles can't separate two hearts that truly care.

7 Good Reads

With Christmas Day less than 48 hours away, things have been getting rather stressful in my house. Cooking, cleaning, gift wrapping and last minute shopping endeavors have been consuming each and every hour.

With the minimal times of relaxation that I do have in times of chaos, getting lost in a good book is usually at the top of my to-do list. Because of the limited time that I have within the next few days, here is a list of some of my favorite books that you might be able to snag soon (with schedules permitting).

1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
A classic story of love and learning, and forever one of my favorites.

2. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Another timeless tale written by Jane Austen, a wonderful author with even better content.

3. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
If you've seen the movie but haven't yet read the book, I highly recommend doing so. Being in high school can be a confusing and difficult time, which Chbosky portrays beautifully.

4. The Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Volumes 1-5) by Edgar Allan Poe
As a poetry snob, I have always admired Poe and his mysterious mannerisms. From "Annabel Lee" to "The Fall of the House of Usher," each piece is sure to leave you hanging off of the edge of your seat.

5. The Works of Lord Byron (Volumes 1-6) by Lord Byron
Byron's poems are not as dark as Poe's and tend to have more romantic ideas involved. As on of my favorite poets, I could read each piece again and again.

6. The Shining by Stephen King
King flawlessly writes his books with a sense of mystique that leaves readers with chills. If you haven't taken the time to immerse yourself in this classic, I highly recommend that you do.

7.  Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
A perfect book about a girl that we can all relate to at one point or another.

Of course, the list could go on and on. Once things start to slow down and I can indulge myself with some more reads, I'll make sure to come here and share my discoveries.

Climbing the Obstacle of Writer's Block

My mind seems to be a place full of every thought imaginable. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm constantly thinking (in fact, that might be an understatement). I'm curious and have undeniable hunger pangs to learn about anything and everything—so why do I come across writer's block as often as I do?

I used to turn my music off only to turn it on again (in which the cycle would usually repeat itself), because I would put the blame on sound as a distraction. I would cut everyone and everything off until my brain found some solid footing to bounce ideas off of.

Over time, I have realized that these interruptions haven't been what has hindered me from connecting two and two in my writing. If anything, they have probably helped me come up with words in many different cases.

As of lately, I tend to attribute this obstacle in my thought patterns to the fact that I find it difficult to land on just one topic to write about. Because I always want to write about every little thing, it's not uncommon that I find myself mashing four different topics together until it sounds like a pile of absolute rubbish.

Putting so many thoughts and ideas into one piece makes it look like I wasn't even thinking at all. At times, it looks as if I might as well have sat down and put "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" because that's exactly what it feels like.

So, how do I move past such cringe-worthy moments?

The ironic thing about my writer's block is that I generally find myself writing to overcome it. I jot down some ideas onto paper in an attempt to piece them together. Whether I decide to use them all is to be determined until I mold them into one productive plan. I have slowly (but surely) been finding that lists are a vital tool to utilize in life.

I have also found that mindless phone apps and casual Internet scrolling in my free time have given me some of the greatest inspirations. In reality, it would have originally been the last place that I would have looked.

Thinking less and meditating more is one thing that has also been a stepping stone for me. Recently, I wrote about how overthinking is something that I deal with on a 24/7 basis. Perhaps the reason that I have decided on this notion is because, with less thoughts to deal with, there are infinite ideas to discover.

How do you deal with writer's block?

Don't Downsize Depression

I am very close to a lot of different people who suffer from depression. It is hard to see loved ones struggle from an illness that they cannot control, especially when all that you want them to know is how much you love and care for them. We may not understand why they are hurting, but there is a good chance that they don't, either.

Just because you cannot see their pain does not mean that it does not exist. The wind cannot be seen, yet it still exists. Thoughts cannot be heard, but they remain nonetheless. Pain may not necessarily be seen, but it might feel like the stabbing of one million knives.

Do not diminish another person's anguish because you cannot see what they are going through. The mind can be a beautiful place, but it can also be torturous to many. You have no idea what another person is really thinking, so don't find it acceptable to demean them for what they have to say.

Do not ever call a victim of depression weak, because they are some of the strongest people to walk the planet. Every smile that they make is a moment in which they choose to let light into their lives. Every day that they wake up is another day that they choose to live.

Often times, internal struggles are far more difficult to cope with than external. Whether they are open with you about their pain or not, let the people that you care about know that you are always there for them. Assure them that they have a shoulder to cry on, even on their toughest days.

You do not get to tell anyone what they can and cannot feel. The only time in which you have the right to that is with yourself. Instead, you can offer guidance to those who feel lost. Offer release to them, talk with them, be with them. 

Sometimes, the only thing that we can do is listen. Besides simply lending a helping hand, reach out with your heart as well. Listen to what they have to say. Listen to why they feel the way they do. As much as you would like to do for them, hearing what they have to say is among the most important initial steps.

If you suffer from depression or someone close to you does, remember: "Tough days don't last–tough people do."

Confessions of a Perpetual Overthinker

 

Overthinking is something that I deal with on a daily basis. I know that I'm not the only one, but it can get awfully frustrating when so many thoughts flood my mind day in and day out. When anxiety, excitement, worry and happiness are felt at the same time, I have no idea what to think at all.

I am probably one of the most curious people that you will ever meet. I love learning new things and exploring different ideas. However, this can be one thing that only adds to my swirling mind. I get so fidgety and distracted by the simplest of matters, which tends to only make things worse.

Perhaps I am such an overthinker because I have a lot to say, but do not know how to express all of it. As an artist and a person with an imaginative spirit, I have so many ideas that I want to communicate. Rather than talking about them all of the time, I tend to put them into writing or imagery. Even though others might not understand, it makes all of the sense in the world to me, which is what truly matters.

I worry about matters that don't need to be worried about at all and have doubt about a lot of things, especially in myself. I get nervous about everything that I shouldn't, making it hard to distinguish important circumstances from minor ones. I feel like there is a pit in the bottom of my stomach that never goes away, just because of how I feel the majority of the time.

The only way to really describe such thinking patterns is that it sucks. It's hard to deal with, and it's even harder to get over. My worst enemy is myself a lot of times, and it can seem like an impossible cycle to escape from.

One thing that really helps me in taming my restless head is turning my thoughts into creations. I write down just about everything that comes to mind, and it is something that helps a ton. Being able to physically look at and read just what is going through my head can be a comforting concept, especially when there are so many different things going on at once. I keep a journal (or at least something that I can write in) with me at all times, because I know that I will get the urge to write at least something down, even if it is only a few words.

Meditation is also a wonderful way to calm myself down. Even just a few minutes of solidarity and quiet allows me to get in touch with myself once again. Ignoring the chaos that is the world around us for even a short time can make all the difference. 

I guess that the primary reason that I'm choosing to write all of this today is for that very reason. It's so easy to fall into silly patterns in life, especially ones like overthinking. If you struggle with similar problems as this, remember this: if the issues that you are facing won't matter even a short time from now, then they aren't worth getting worked up about today.

Stories from Thanksgivings Past

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Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Because the big day has finally arrived, I figured that I would write one more post in honor of the national holiday. I think that it is pretty universal that every family has at least one good story from Thanksgiving celebrations in the past. For my family, I do not even know where to begin.

Every Thanksgiving, I stay at my grandparents’ house in a small town in Pennsylvania. My aunts, uncles and cousins that I normally do not get to see come over on Wednesday and Thursday during the festive week. To say that we have some pretty memorable stories to tell from Thanksgivings in the past would be an understatement.

A while back, my grandpa needed to fix the hot water tank in the house so that Thanksgiving dinner could run smoothly. Not long after going down to the basement to fix what he needed to, a loud booming sound roared. Everyone heard it and was confused as to what had happened. When my grandfather had come back upstairs, it was hard to miss the singe marks that covered his green sweater. It was even more difficult to miss the fact that he no longer had any eyebrows. Ah, memories.

My grandma likes to make coleslaw as a part of our big Thanksgiving meal. A few years ago, my family was chowing down on what they had gathered on their plates during the feast, just talking and having a good time. After some of my family members had decided to dig into the coleslaw, they noticed something strange about it. It was not long before they noticed that someone had accidentally ground up some plastic spoons into the cabbage mixture. Everyone was okay, but I am still happy that I did not like coleslaw at the time.

One of my personal favorite stories happened just a few years ago. When your grandpa has five other siblings, the extended family can get pretty big. One of his sisters is married to someone who has a nephew in New York City (we will call him Freddie). Freddie has no relation to the Morral family, either. My grandma had apparently run into him at a wedding and said that he was welcome to come to their house any time, out of common courtesy. 

Thanksgiving morning rolled around, and word had started to spread among my grandparents’ house that Freddie was on his way from New York City to spend Thanksgiving with our family. Freddie had decided to bring cheesecakes and stayed until late that night. I think that everyone was just as confused as the next person as to why he was there in the first place. Needless to say, that was a weird Thanksgiving for everyone.

What are some of your best Thanksgiving stories?

Bringing Back Snail Mail

For almost two months, my boyfriend has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Training for the National Guard, he is essentially cut off from the outside world until Christmas time. Even after New Years, he still has to go back to finish out boot camp before beginning Advanced Individual Training (or AIT).

Having only gotten two calls from him, sending letters back and forth is the only way that we have been able to communicate with each other. It seemed odd to me at first, but it has turned into something that I look forward to each and every day. I find myself going to my mailbox every day of the week in hopes of a letter from the love of my life.

If you had asked me one year ago if I would have expected to be where I am now, I probably would have said that you're crazy. I anticipated things to be so different, but I'm not so sure that I would change them.

Writing letters has proven to be so much more meaningful than sending a text message. A simple "What's up" has turned into "How is life? What have you been up to? What's new in school?" and I am not sure that I would trade that for anything.

Receiving letters from my favorite person excites me more than I ever could have imagined. While this form of communication might not be as immediate as I might like, it is so much more personal and really gives me something to look forward too.

I know that he enjoys receiving letters from me as well, and I absolutely love writing them to him and just thinking about his reactions upon opening them. ( I might be biased as a writer saying this, but I am nerdy and it is the truth.)

Although our circumstances brought us back to "snail mail," I have found myself rekindling my love for conversing via the postal system. If anything, I feel as if it has made our relationship stronger. Being able to be completely open and express emotions in such a raw manner through pen ink scribbled onto lined paper is such an honest concept. Whenever I open a letter from him, I feel like I am holding a piece of him and what he has to say.

This experience has really drawn me closer to the notion of writing to people more often. My younger sister has even asked me to write to her even though we talk via text message on a daily basis, and I am appreciative of that. I am afraid that the younger generations will lose touch with writing letters because they are so connected to the digital world.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for the technology of today and talking virtually. I just fear that letters will become a lost concept if the digital world becomes a main source of communication for everyone.

Buy a sheet of stamps. Pick up a box of envelopes and some lined paper or stationary. Take your best pen and scrawl your heart out onto the pages for those that you love. It may take a second to send a text message, but it takes a couple of business days to make someone really smile.

Finding and Following Your Passion

Ever since I can remember, I have had a distinct attachment to writing and the arts. I have always been attracted to the aspect of being able to make creations from ideas that I have in my mind and being able to bring them to life.

Even though I always knew that I had a passion for art and writing, I was always very timid about sharing some of my work with other people. For a long time, I lived in a constant state of thinking that what I had was not good enough in comparison to what someone else might have to offer. 

In high school, I was especially wary about my own writing until my AP English teacher encouraged me to enter myself into a regional writing contest. I had written a personal narrative on the harms of fracking from my family's experience, and she loved it. Hesitantly, I took her advice and submitted my piece. Two months later, I found out that I was a winner.

More often than not, stepping out of your comfort zone is the key to finding success. As Hunter S. Thompson once said, "Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing."

If you love to do something and find yourself getting excited about it, follow it. Don't let it die out or give up on it by settling for something less. There are opportunities to pursue what you want to do all around, whether you think so or not. Start by looking for them, even in the unlikeliest of places.

Take risks, be adventurous, and don't hesitate. Give it your all, and nothing less. You might be surprised at how happy you are in the place that you end up.

Finding Your Inner Wanderlust

Beloved author of mine Jane Austen once said, "If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad." I've been thinking about this quote a lot lately, and it has played a role in influencing my mindset.

Austen's thoughts triggered my own mind to reflect back on my personal urge to explore. I know that I have the need within myself to break the mold and find my own adventures. To try new things, meet new people, to have the experiences of a lifetime. I want to make my own happiness.

The term "wanderlust" means  "to have a strong desire or urge to wander or travel and explore the world."

I know that I'm not the only one who carries the wanderlust trait. Many do, but might find themselves suppressing it because of routines in their lives that they have gotten caught up in. So, how does one acknowledge such a desire to break out of it?

To give in to the wanderlust mentality, you have to understand that nothing has to be permanent. You might feel trapped in your current situation, but you have the power to change anything that you want to.  If you can change your hair, clothes, jobs and relationships, why not change your life?

Being fearless is a quality that goes hand-in-hand with the feeling of being wanderlust. Instead of dreading anything that could go awry in your adventures, think about every amazing opportunity that you can seize.

 Imagine the possibilities that lie within taking chances and journeying where you feel the biggest pull. Gravitate toward the places that you know that you need to be, and find a way to get there. Even when it seems like an impossible concept, you won't know until you try.

Be spontaneous. Dare to be bold. Venture out into what you do not know in this vast world, because you never know what you might find.