Matthew Shepard: The Memory That Lives On

Sixteen years ago on a freezing night in 1998, Matthew Shepard was on his way home in Laramie, Wyoming when he decided to accept a ride from two men. Unbeknownst to Shepard, he accepted a ride from his killers. He was beaten, tied to a fence and left for dead until a cyclist found him eighteen-hours later and alerted the police.

Shepard was in a coma when the police arrived -- the only places that his face wasn't covered in blood were the small trails running down his face, created by his tears. He remained in a coma upon arrival to the hospital, where doctors learned that he had suffered severe trauma to his brain stem which left his body unable to regulate many functions and that it was too risky to operate.

At 12:53 a.m. on October 12, 1998, Shepard died in the hospital.

For those of you who aren't familiar with this story, I'm sure that you're left with one lingering question above all: why would these two men seek out to kill Shepard?

The answer? Because he was gay.

The tragedy surrounding Shepard's death was induced because of his sexuality and because he chose to live his life freely. While the death of such a bright soul like Shepard's is devastating, it's even more disheartening to know that this kind of disturbing behavior still happens in the world today.

Take what happened with the shooting in the Orlando night club this summer, for instance. 49 people lost their lives while 53 others were injured by one man filled with so much hatred that he chose to murder people who were living freely - as they should be - in a gay night club.

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day, but there are still so many hearts in the world who choose not to come out any day because they feel that they won't feel safe or accepted if they choose to do so. My own heart goes out to Shepard's family and friends on this mournful anniversary, and also to those who are feel that they cannot unveil their true selves in today's world.

The Error in Trying to Make Everyone Happy

 

I actually had a completely different mindset for what I was going to write about today, but I found this ominously titled blank post in my drafts. Irony has a funny way of sneaking up on me most days, but this is one topic that I probably relate the most to right now. In some ways, I feel like I'm about to write this all out more so for myself than for others. Regardless, I'm sure that I'm not the only one who can take a lesson out of this.

It's an impossible feat to set your sight on making each and every person happy. You're in control of your life and what you want to do, no matter how much good you want to do unto others. You have a brain, believe it or not, and it's about damn time you get to think for yourself. If you realize that you're trying to impress someone more than taking care of yourself, it might be time to check your priorities.

It. Is. Okay. To. Say. NO. Becoming wrapped up in trying to please anyone is probably near the top of a long list of my biggest faults. I've dealt with a lot (and I'm still dealing with some, sigh) very manipulative people who will make me feel like shit if I don't get dinner with them or text them back right away. It's more than okay to have different agendas and to hang out with different people. If you've been dealing with someone who has been a toxic influence in your life, it might be time to cut the cord.

It's your life -- point blank. Stay focused on keeping yourself happy before you invest all of your time and effort into those around you. No matter how important someone is to you, you're only human. There's only so much you can do for others, and it's your right to be able to make your own decisions.

August 2016's "Summer Set"

If you took the time to read my last post, then you might recall that I mentioned creating a "Summer Set" with some of my favorite gems in life at the moment. As promised, here's a little list that I've compiled. Be sure to be on the lookout for some more blog posts, including a set for every month!

1. Starbucks' Purple Drink

Okay. I already know how "basic" this sounds from the title of the item alone, but HEAR ME OUT. This is probably one of the greatest things that I have ever ordered from Starbucks, and it's the perfect refresher on any hot day. Simply order an Iced Passion Tango Tea and ask for soy milk instead of water, a few pumps of vanilla syrup, and blackberries. You definitely won't regret it.

2. Stephen King's It

I'm obviously behind on the trends here, but this read falls under the category of "oldie, but a goodie." I bought this book a while ago, never got around to reading it, and rediscovered it when I was cleaning my disaster of a room one day. If you're into thrillers, mysteries, and anything to do with Stephen King, I highly recommend this for you. (If you have a fear of clowns though, maybe don't read it.) There's a remake of the 1990 film coming out in 2017 too, in case you needed another reason to read it.

3. Post Malone

Ordinarily, I've been more of an indie/chillout type of music person. My best friend got Justin Bieber tickets for her birthday and chose to take me as her plus one, and Post Malone was one of the opening acts at the concert. He was honestly probably the realest act of the night and actually acted like he wanted to be there (unlike Moxie Raia or even Justin Bieber himself). If you've heard his single "White Iverson" and enjoyed it, check out some of his other songs, like "Go Flex" and "Too Young."

4. Lilly Pulitzer

I'm a huge sucker for organization when it comes to planning out my life. This year's Lilly Pulitzer planners have everything that you need for the Type A side to your personality. It even includes two of the cutest sheets of stickers filled with potential events, like "long weekend" and "date night," to stick on days and to make your week a look little more fun. The whole planner is filled with popping watercolor-like images, so even if you opt not to use the stickers, it's still super chic. (Side note: They have a planner with little gold elephants all over it, which is obviously the one that I bought with my elephant obsession and all. Seriously. Give them your money ASAP.)

5. NYX Lip Lingerie

This is probably my favorite lip product of all time. NYX Lingerie is a silky and rich color available in 12 different nude shades. It stays on for a lot longer than most products, and it's super lightweight with a matte finish. My personal go-to shades are Corset and Push-Up, but make sure to buy them according to what you love the most!

Keep on the lookout for my fall set, and many more frequent posts to come. Until next time!

The Curse of Abandoned Blog Syndrome

It's often inevitable -- life catapults us into chaos and busyness, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Unfortunately, might also result in the abandonment of the smaller things that occupy our time. In my case, my wonderful blog has been one of the unfortunate fallen victim to the dreadful curse.

With summer approaching August already, look out for my "Summer Set" post within the next day or two! I'll have my personal selection of books, music, movies and more for you to incorporate into your last few weeks of relaxation. Who knows? Maybe you'll find that perfect read or Netflix binge that you've been looking for!

Besides that, be on the lookout for some of my ramblings. Things are crazy in the world right now (thus the necessity to bold, underline, and italicize that word), and I think that's time for me to vice my opinion on this platform. Until next time!

Gender Equality in the Global Educational System

Today, I woke up as I do every other day: In my dorm room at my university, where I am able to take classes and study for my degree with the rest of my friends. What is the catch? I am a girl.

It is difficult knowing that there are countries all over the world where women are discouraged from earning an education and are unable to learn in a school environment. Where women are looked down upon, beaten, and murdered for wanting to obtain a fundamental right that I often take for granted in the United States.

If you are not familiar with Malala Yousafzai, she is an eighteen-year old Pakistani who was shot in the head on a school bus one day because she wanted to go to school. To learn. To practice a right that should be available to both boys and girls.

One of my greatest passions is speaking out on behalf of women and gender equality. In lieu of this, I figured that now would be the perfect time to share some of my feminist views here.

Today, I woke up as I do every other day: in my dorm room at my university, where I am able to take classes and study for my degree with the rest of my friends. What’s the catch? I’m a girl.

It’s difficult knowing that there are countries all over the world where women are discouraged from earning an education and are unable to learn in a school environment. Looked down upon, beaten, and murdered for wanting to obtain a fundamental right that I often take for granted in the United States.

 Despite being critically injured, she survived and speaks on behalf of women all over the world today who struggle with not being allowed to attend school or who are looked down upon for being a female. Malala is not only a survivor - she is a warrior. She fights on behalf of women all over the world, including me, when she advocates for equal rights.

I find it heartbreaking that a young girl had to nearly die in order to learn about different subjects, simply because she was not a boy.

In America, one of the biggest issues that women have to worry about in high schools is their dress code. I find this topic to be an important issue as well, with administration claiming that showing too much shoulder is “distracting to the boys,” in some situations. I am an advocate for girls to be able to feel comfortable in their clothing, and not have to go and change their clothes in the middle of an important class so that the boys are able to learn.

 Regardless, there is no gender discrimination about who gets to learn. Both boys and girls of all ages have an equal opportunity to receive an education in the subjects they are passionate about and want to study.

Women aren’t allowed to learn in many places besides Pakistan, including Nepal, Afghanistan. Guatemala, Egypt, Haiti, and Papa New Guinea.

Suppression of basic rights is something that is easily taken for granted in a privileged society like America. We complain about having to wake up early for class, writing a long essay, or studying for tests when we’d much rather be doing something else.

I can be just as guilty when it comes to not wanting to do certain things, until I remember how fortunate I am. I don’t have to fear about earning an education, or even walking down the street simply because of my gender.

I am nineteen-years old. I am a woman. And I am thankful everyday that I am able to go to school and learn.

Breathing When You're Busy

My schedule while I'm in school makes each day a whirlwind of responsibilities. In between classes, work, extracurricular activities and general housekeeping duties, finding a break in the day for myself is a nearly impossible task.

Instead of sleeping in for an extra hour or two each day (as tempting as it sounds some mornings), I have been finding that early mornings are the only times that I am genuinely able to find time for myself right now.

The first vibrant rays of sunlight that break through my tiny dorm room window clash with the steam rising from my bold mug(s) of coffee. I soak up and breathe in every second of these sweet few hours, because I am aware of the chaos that will ensue in my life in the rest of the day to come.

If any of you have followed along with my rambling and can relate to any tidbit of this, keep reading.

I'm notorious for stressing out about most things, as much as I deny it. I tend to worry, plain and simple. So, what do I do to detox my frustrations and anxiety before my busy days?

One word: meditation.

I learned more about meditation a few months ago, but had never really applied it to my routine until lately. Structured breathing can work wonders for the mind and for the soul. I was once a skeptic at how helpful it would actually be for me, but now I swear by it . . . funny how life works that way.

As soon as I get out of bed in the morning, I draw in deep breaths and smoothly exhale them for a few minutes. If I have time, I throw in some yoga as well.

Before I lose myself in raving about my newfound routine any longer, let me just leave you all with one thing. If you found nothing useful from my thoughts in this post, just remember these two words if you find yourself panicking or stressed . . .

Just breathe.

Artist of the Week: Yngve Holen

[Image courtesy of strangeteaching.info]

It's been awhile since I've been able to write an Artist of the Week post, but I promise that they're back to stay! To christen this lovely Friday afternoon and the beginning to more featured artists, here's a quick profile on German artist Yngve Holen.

As a Berlin-based artist, Holen works primarily with sculptures and collaborations of large scale trinkets. As a contributor to the genre of modern art, he puts his own twist on his creations, whatever they may be.

[Image courtesy of http://s3.amazonaws.com/contemporaryartgroup/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/110718_Leighton_026.jpg]

From his work, it is clear to see that Holen has an interest in aviation. Compilations of airplane models with holographic "sheets" skimming the top of them make up just a few of his pieces. However, he makes them his own by sometimes placing them on obscure objects, such as washing machines (as seen in the second image pictured below).

 

 [Image courtesy of taboofart.com]

[Image courtesy of www.frieze.com]

To learn more about Holen and his exquisite designs, check out his profile at www.johanberggren.com to view some of his exhibitions and further work that he has produced.  

Actuality vs. Quality

Construing reality into our own fantasy
leaves us craving something
that is never actually there to begin with.

Living our lives, we endure what may cross our paths
and take what we desire,
disposing of the bits and pieces that we can live without.

Trouble is, by throwing away what we do not want
we are left with next to nothing.

Living a minimalistic lifestyle
reveals what is necessary.

Eventually, the line that once defined what was real from imagination vanishes,
leaving us to our own devices.

Accepting Women in the Media

Discrimination is a prevalent force, whether we want to accept it or not. Racism, genderism and sexism are just a few that top the list in today's day and age. As a female journalist, one of the biggest challenges that I see today is the acceptance of women in the media.

Equality in general has been tested over the years, but equality for women has been one of the major issues. A constant fight that many have been fighting against for quite some time now, it seems like a never-ending battle.

There are so many people and figures in the media who have been battling for fairness in the world for women in the work place, school, and in daily life as a whole.

English actress Emma Watson has transformed from a young Muggle wizard to a strong spokeswoman for feminism. Over the past few years, she has spoken out on behalf of women everywhere, earning herself the title of the United Nations Goodwill Ambassador in 2014. Watson has also recently released a statement inviting men to support gender equality as well, which is crucial to the movement.

Pakistani girl Malala Yousafzai survived a shot to the head on her school bus at just fifteen-years old in her stand for women's right to an education in her country. Almost four years later and now at eighteen-years old, Yousafzai continues to stand up for women all over the world and calls them to join her in the fight for gender equality.

Even now, I am literally sitting in an art history class watching the Japanese art of Kabuki theater, another activity that women are prohibited from joining. All of these occurrences prove that sexism isn't just in one area or region - it's all over the world.

I'm currently taking a class about women and minorities in the media and how they have been treated over the years. While the class has only bee in session for about three weeks, we have already went over how discriminatory the people of the newsroom can be. In one instance, my professor had a fellow female journalist in one of her past jobs years ago who would hide in the bathroom whenever one of the men in the office would come into work. Why? Because whenever she walked by, he would pull her down in his lap and humiliate her in front of her co-workers.

But what could she do about it? The men in the office were considered to be superior. If she were to tell someone in higher-up, there is a fair chance that she would not have been taken seriously.

White males have been considered to be higher-ranking over history, and especially in the work place. While it may not be so drastic in the modern world as it has been over the past few centuries, there is no disputing that it still exists in many areas.

The newsroom is one place where the competition between genders has been high throughout the decades. Diversity in the world of journalism is still emerging. Today, Buzzfeed is known to have one of the most diverse newsrooms in the country.

Jane Cunningham Croly and Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman, more famously known as their pen names Jennie June and Nellie Bly, are just two nineteenth century journalists who have paved the way for women today

While we have come a long ways in terms of fighting against discrimination in today's society, the war is far from being won.

Living for Yourself in the 21st Century

People often ask me what I want to do with my career in just a few years. I usually respond with a generic answer, based on what I am studying: "An art director for a magazine or a website." However, at other times, I find myself responding with three words instead of nine: "I don't know."

Truth be told, I can't say that I do know. I have a general idea in mind, but nothing is set in stone. I might only be four months shy of twenty-years old, but I have had big plans for my life for quite some time.

On a day-to-day basis, I have billions of little thoughts swarming within the four walls of my mind. I'd say that about a quarter of them consist of where I want to travel, what I want to do, goals that I want to achieve one day, and ways in which I want to live for myself.

Not that I stay cemented in the future by any means. I live for spontaneous decisions and jumping into any new opportunities that I come across, no matter how extreme (clever interlude into diverting your attention to my "Yes Man" post here after you finish feasting your eyes on this one). But when it comes to the rest of my life, I find it important to think about just where I see myself.

As a college student, I've talked to many of my friends and acquaintances about where they see themselves ending up. While many of them are in the same type of boat as myself, I've come across a few who say that it will be wherever their boyfriend or girlfriend decides, and that they will go from there. It doesn't matter if they have plans or goals of their own, because they have fallen too deep beyond the realms of infatuation.

What is there in life if you cannot live for yourself?

Keynote speaker Steve Maraboli once said, "When you are living the best version of yourself, you inspire others to live the best versions of themselves."

Throughout my life thus far, I've found that people come and go. People change, plans fall through and not everything is permanent. We can't always count on people, but we can sure as hell speak for ourselves.

Society today is pushing more than ever to stand apart from everyone else. No matter how close we might be to someone or how in love we are, let them do what they want while you pursue your own dreams. If things don't work out because you chose to live your own life, don't chase them. Let them go, because they obviously weren't worth your time anyways.

Think back to when you were significantly younger. What did you want to be as the years went by? (I apparently told my family that I "wanted to be a teenager" so I guess that I'm living the dream, but back on a serious note now.) No matter what your aspirations were, you knew that you weren't going to let anything or anyone stop you from getting to where you wanted to be.

The world can be such a vast and wonderful place. Take advantage of every chance you get, because the time doesn't stop ticking by.

Known As the Popular Loner

A few summers ago, I took this picture in a tunnel that I was walking through on the canal in my home town. Thankfully, I had the brains to upload it to my computer so that I could save it in case my phone were to break. Five phones later, the remembrance of this image popped into my head for some strange reason today and I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

At the time that I initially saw this, I can't say that I really analyzed it too much. An angst-ridden sixteen-year old, I'm sure that I saw the spray-painted phrase with white, dripping letters as "so punk rock" and not much more. I kept in in some of my digital picture folders and moved on with my life.

Almost four years later, I can't attribute this graffiti to anyone and couldn't give you a proper guess as to who might have tagged it. However, I think that I have a firmer grasp now on what they meant by this. "Known as a popular loner . . ."

My greatest opinion on these five simple words is that the artist was feeling what many might also be familiar with: being surrounded by people, yet feeling the opposite.

Let me start off with a bit of a preface. I tend to refer to myself as an extroverted introvert. I talk non-stop and adore meeting new people as often as possible. I'm a rather social person when it comes down to it.

While this might be the case, having time to myself is a must. There are times when I turn down offers to spend time with people, just because I know that I need to be alone for a bit and collect my thoughts. It's not that I'm anti-social by any means, I just prefer to be by myself sometimes.

(I could easily go into my life story as it has been so far, but that's a story that I'll just have to save for another day.)

Now back to the picture. Even years later, I feel like I have a steadier understanding on the underlying meaning to such a simple phrase. Although someone might be considered a "socialite," a room full of people can still feel empty. The person who everybody thinks of as the life of the party might only be that to those who don't care to delve deeper into their true character.

Of course, there could also be a sadder and desperate meaning that the artist wanted to convey. Perhaps there was a feeling within them that felt the need for something more out of life. It could have very well been that he just wanted anyone to get to know his life, his story, his art.


I suppose that I'll have to settle with the fact that I may never know if there was a deeper meaning behind this, or if there was a specific point that the tagger was trying to make. So, for now, I'll end with one question: what would you leave behind as a simple statement to describe your life, and how many people would really understand?

For the Dazed and Confused

Lazy Sundays filled with listening to Vampire Weekend whilst drinking hot coffee and diving into books about modern art have instilled me with the inspiration to type out just what I have been feeling lately. Without further ado, here we go.

Lately, I've been stuck in my own thoughts more than I normally am. Bouncing back and forth within the four walls of my own mind, I've been trying to crack the code of what I truly want out of life. The only answer that I have come up with so far?

I don't know.

But do you know what else?

That's okay.

I'm the type of girl who enjoys the thrill of spontaneous adventures at two o'clock in the morning, but who also can't wait to be enveloped in the comfort of her own bed. I love to binge watch TV shows, but I also want to read for days at a time. I have aspirations to travel the entire world, but I can also be a bit of a homebody.

I have so many dreams that I want to pursue that I'm still unsure of what to place my finger on at the moment. Taking life on day at a time is one of the greatest challenges that I find myself continuously facing.

As much as I would love to have my life figured out by now, I'm also aware that that's not exactly going to happen. At nineteen-years old, I'm infatuated with the concept of having my future mapped out so that I have an idea of what is going to happen down the line. In order for that to happen, however, I need to have a solid grasp on what I want.

And right now, I'm not certain in what I want exactly because I want to experience everything.

I want to be able to live for myself. Do what I want, go where I want to go, and be who I want to without having to schedule my life around anyone else. I'm content with where I am right now, but there's also so much more that I want to get out of this short lifetime.

Dazed and confused is perhaps the best way to sum up my current predicament. I have a long journey ahead of me at such a young age, but I'm ready for it. I can't control everything and I will get to where I want to be in due time.

And if I do end up figuring everything out by some circumstantial one in a million chance, I'll be sure to let you know.

Artist of the Week: Jenny Holzer

Happy Sunday! I didn't realize how long it had been since I last made an Artist of the Week post. My apologies!

If I'm not mistaken, I think that I posted my last artist feature on Christmas Day. (Whoops!) No worries, they're back again with this week's artist, Jenny Holzer.

(Side note: I would have chosen a better picture of Holzer to include, but copyright infringement prevented me from doing so. *Sigh*)

As a neo-conceptual American artist, Holzer's creations are fueled by political and social movements of her time. Working and living in Hoosick Falls, New York, she has also been a prominent voice among the artists for feminism.

Holzer, now 65-years old, has incorporated the usage of projection and electric lights in her art work over the years. Each piece, as simple as the words may be, entails deeper and vivid concepts for the viewer to grasp.

The large-scale artist initially started her work by leaving paintings and script around the city of Manhattan. Eventually, that led her to begin to create billboard pieces and the building projections, where her career really took off. Holzer has also put some of her pieces on vehicles, as pictured below.

 

To learn more about Holzer and to view some of her most cherished and powerful work, visit her website at projects.jennyholzer.com.

4 Major Things That Happen When You Stop Caring So Much

It’s inevitable - life gets rough. One minute you’re as happy as you’ve ever been, and the next you just don’t want to move. You either have incredibly high hopes or next to none, and either way you’re just as disappointed. But what happens when you learn to let go and simply stop caring so damn much?

  

1. You can find your identity. For starters, let's observe the aspect of what happens to you as a person. When the majority of you time is spent on taking care of other people and making sure that their happiness is consistent, you forget to love yourself and take care of your own needs. How can you grow and live a prosperous life if you can't find the time to do things for yourself? In the words of the wonderful television personality Tom Haverford, "treat yo self." Take the time to relax in your favorite coffee shop or park and do things that only you want to do. Write a book, meet new people, nap all day long  - whatever it is, make sure that it's what you enjoy.

2.    You learn to let go. There’s no way to comfortably move forward without letting go of the things that keep you cemented in the past. Whether it is a person or an event that has kept a hold on you, there’s no use in dwelling over the things that you can’t change. Everyday is full of new opportunities, so go out and seize them. Who cares about that one thing that happened 2 weeks ago, or that guy who turned out to be a huge jerk? Those people and things don’t affect who you are in the long run.

3.    The amount of stress you have goes down. Before you know it, the level of stress pressing upon you goes down almost instantly. With a sense of release, you quickly begin to recognize that the problems that face you at the moment don’t last forever. Why spend so much time in a state of anxiety when there’s a whole world ahead of you? Quit worrying about that big test you have to take or why that boy isn’t texting you back right away. It sounds cliché, but tomorrow really is a new day.

4.    You recognize chances and opportunities to take that you never did before. I can attest to the fact that I used to care far too much about a variety of things. However, as I gradually cared less and less about what bothered me, I began to pay attention to people and opportunities around me that I hadn’t paid attention to previously. New people, new interests, and new possibilities - everything started to piece together, and I was able to say I was truly happy. After all, what is life without undergoing different and exciting experiences?

Life is such a wonderful experience when you truly take advantage of it. Rather than focusing on what to fret about, throw your cares on the back burner. Laughter, pain and adventure lurk around every corner. Seize the day, and find who you want to be.

The Cycle of a Long Distance Relationship

After four long months, I was finally reunited with my beloved boyfriend once again this past week. We have been in a long distance relationship for about one year now, and he has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma since October.

Before going back to Oklahoma to graduate and then head to AIT training for the National Guard in Missouri until mid-March, we were able to spend five wonderful days together. It might not seem like much to the average person but, to us, it was everything.

I've written about long distance relationships and how to stay positive in them back in October of 2015, before my boyfriend left. I want to add on with a fresh perspective and more thoughts, especially for those who have never had to deal with the stress of a long distance relationship before.

When somebody means everything, distance becomes such a small concept. Even when the waiting feels like years, you can't really imagine being as excited for anything else.


Once the days start becoming fewer and the countdown decreases with each passing moment, the anticipation only heightens. Everything finally starts to fall into place, and the day that you know you will be together again consumes your wildest dreams.

The day finally comes. It's here. Butterflies fill your stomach like nothing that you have ever felt before, until at last - you see the one you love the most. A familiar spark flickers before your eyes and you simply can't believe how you managed to go without being in their arms for so long, because that is where your heart is.

Each and every second spent together is just one more second that you wouldn't want to spend with anyone else. Watching Grey's Anatomy for hours and venturing to art museums become some of the best times that you have had in a while. Together again with the love of your life, and nothing can destroy that feeling.

But then it comes. The day that you've been putting off in the back of your mind because you've been dreading it since before your love has even arrived - the day where they have to leave once again. Even waking up becomes a sad affair, because you don't want the contents of the rest of the day to occur.

You help them pack their things (as much as you don't want to) while jokingly attempting to get them to stay. As much as you don't want to leave each other, there are some things in life that just have to happen. You'll be together soon enough, but this is not the time.

The drive to the airport or to the bus station is one of the saddest trips to endure. There's so much that the both of you want to say, but it's too hard to express at this time. So, you sit in near silence as you promise yourself that you won't cry this time because you cry every single time and maybe this time will be different (spoiler alert: it won't be).

You help them get their luggage out, despite your best last efforts to get them to stay with you. You look at each other for a brief few seconds before embracing, and that's when the waterworks make their first big appearance.

Between final goodbyes and many wiped tears, you take one last look at each other before you depart ways. Leaving feels just a little bit emptier than it has the last few times, and the countdowns are reset.

Learning to cherish every little thing in life is a lesson that I believe everyone can take part in. No matter how tough things get or how different you wish that things were, appreciate what you do have.


And if you're in a long distance relationship right now,  just remember - miles can't separate two hearts that truly care.

Climbing the Obstacle of Writer's Block

My mind seems to be a place full of every thought imaginable. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm constantly thinking (in fact, that might be an understatement). I'm curious and have undeniable hunger pangs to learn about anything and everything—so why do I come across writer's block as often as I do?

I used to turn my music off only to turn it on again (in which the cycle would usually repeat itself), because I would put the blame on sound as a distraction. I would cut everyone and everything off until my brain found some solid footing to bounce ideas off of.

Over time, I have realized that these interruptions haven't been what has hindered me from connecting two and two in my writing. If anything, they have probably helped me come up with words in many different cases.

As of lately, I tend to attribute this obstacle in my thought patterns to the fact that I find it difficult to land on just one topic to write about. Because I always want to write about every little thing, it's not uncommon that I find myself mashing four different topics together until it sounds like a pile of absolute rubbish.

Putting so many thoughts and ideas into one piece makes it look like I wasn't even thinking at all. At times, it looks as if I might as well have sat down and put "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" because that's exactly what it feels like.

So, how do I move past such cringe-worthy moments?

The ironic thing about my writer's block is that I generally find myself writing to overcome it. I jot down some ideas onto paper in an attempt to piece them together. Whether I decide to use them all is to be determined until I mold them into one productive plan. I have slowly (but surely) been finding that lists are a vital tool to utilize in life.

I have also found that mindless phone apps and casual Internet scrolling in my free time have given me some of the greatest inspirations. In reality, it would have originally been the last place that I would have looked.

Thinking less and meditating more is one thing that has also been a stepping stone for me. Recently, I wrote about how overthinking is something that I deal with on a 24/7 basis. Perhaps the reason that I have decided on this notion is because, with less thoughts to deal with, there are infinite ideas to discover.

How do you deal with writer's block?

Artist of the Week: Charmaine Olivia

This week's artist is someone who I'm actually surprised that I haven't mentioned earlier. I first started following Charmaine Olivia on Instagram (@charmaineolivia) about a year ago and have been keeping up with her exquisite work ever since.

I have been a huge fan of the oil painter for quite some time now. The way that she is able to bring such vibrant colors together in the most elegant way possible is a talent that I envy greatly.

 

While Charmaine Olivia primarily paints portraits of other people, she does occasionally add her own twist to items and figures found in the everyday world around us.

As I mentioned earlier, she has a keen sense for painting delicate portraits of many different people, especially pop culture icons like Marilyn Monroe, who is used in quite a few. Other famous muses used include two of my favorite celebrities: Johnny Depp and Lana Del Rey.

Hands down, Charmaine Olivia is one artist that I highly favor in today's day and age. If you like what you see, take a look at her pristine website www.charmaineolivia.com to peek at her gallery, follow her on social media and potentially purchase some paintings.

 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

  
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is an enthralling film starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet as the two main characters. Without giving too much away, I'll just say that they portray two people who think that they have fallen apart, until drastic measures are taken and all they really want to do is have their love put back together once again. (I highly recommend it as one of my favorites. However, in case you decide to look up the trailer on YouTube, it is most definitely not a "romantic comedy" like it suggests–it is actually rather sad.)

Long story short, an anguished man longs to forget his lost love until his memories begin to be erased. It is only as his mind relives them that he decides that, no matter the pain he faces thinking of what was and what could have been, he wouldn't trade his memories with his old flame for the world.

Poet Alexander Pope also once wrote, "How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd."

Of course, something like this is not necessarily feasible in reality. Our memories can't ever be erased, no matter how much we might wish it. But what if we had the opportunity to?

Would you choose a lifetime of rain over one that you never knew existed? How desperate would you be to go back and re-live the times that you favor (or regret) the most? Would you choose to move on, or stay cemented in thoughts?

I have been toying with this post in my mind for a bit now, trying to determine just where I want to place my overall focus. After much consideration, I have decided that I want to put some perspective on the notion of risk.

What exhilaration is there in life without the fear taking a chance here and there?

Say for instance, we could erase everything. Take back everything we wish we had never said, avoid meeting people who ended up being toxic to us, forget every piece of sadness to ever touch our lives. How would we learn?

There is no harm in reminiscing, but there is some danger in living vicariously through our memories. Remaining in what once was, it can be hard to move forward. Thoughts can rust away, but they never truly can diminish in themselves.

So, in theory, if you had the opportunity to "erase" every memory that you wish that you could–would you?

Don't Downsize Depression

I am very close to a lot of different people who suffer from depression. It is hard to see loved ones struggle from an illness that they cannot control, especially when all that you want them to know is how much you love and care for them. We may not understand why they are hurting, but there is a good chance that they don't, either.

Just because you cannot see their pain does not mean that it does not exist. The wind cannot be seen, yet it still exists. Thoughts cannot be heard, but they remain nonetheless. Pain may not necessarily be seen, but it might feel like the stabbing of one million knives.

Do not diminish another person's anguish because you cannot see what they are going through. The mind can be a beautiful place, but it can also be torturous to many. You have no idea what another person is really thinking, so don't find it acceptable to demean them for what they have to say.

Do not ever call a victim of depression weak, because they are some of the strongest people to walk the planet. Every smile that they make is a moment in which they choose to let light into their lives. Every day that they wake up is another day that they choose to live.

Often times, internal struggles are far more difficult to cope with than external. Whether they are open with you about their pain or not, let the people that you care about know that you are always there for them. Assure them that they have a shoulder to cry on, even on their toughest days.

You do not get to tell anyone what they can and cannot feel. The only time in which you have the right to that is with yourself. Instead, you can offer guidance to those who feel lost. Offer release to them, talk with them, be with them. 

Sometimes, the only thing that we can do is listen. Besides simply lending a helping hand, reach out with your heart as well. Listen to what they have to say. Listen to why they feel the way they do. As much as you would like to do for them, hearing what they have to say is among the most important initial steps.

If you suffer from depression or someone close to you does, remember: "Tough days don't last–tough people do."

Confessions of a Perpetual Overthinker

 

Overthinking is something that I deal with on a daily basis. I know that I'm not the only one, but it can get awfully frustrating when so many thoughts flood my mind day in and day out. When anxiety, excitement, worry and happiness are felt at the same time, I have no idea what to think at all.

I am probably one of the most curious people that you will ever meet. I love learning new things and exploring different ideas. However, this can be one thing that only adds to my swirling mind. I get so fidgety and distracted by the simplest of matters, which tends to only make things worse.

Perhaps I am such an overthinker because I have a lot to say, but do not know how to express all of it. As an artist and a person with an imaginative spirit, I have so many ideas that I want to communicate. Rather than talking about them all of the time, I tend to put them into writing or imagery. Even though others might not understand, it makes all of the sense in the world to me, which is what truly matters.

I worry about matters that don't need to be worried about at all and have doubt about a lot of things, especially in myself. I get nervous about everything that I shouldn't, making it hard to distinguish important circumstances from minor ones. I feel like there is a pit in the bottom of my stomach that never goes away, just because of how I feel the majority of the time.

The only way to really describe such thinking patterns is that it sucks. It's hard to deal with, and it's even harder to get over. My worst enemy is myself a lot of times, and it can seem like an impossible cycle to escape from.

One thing that really helps me in taming my restless head is turning my thoughts into creations. I write down just about everything that comes to mind, and it is something that helps a ton. Being able to physically look at and read just what is going through my head can be a comforting concept, especially when there are so many different things going on at once. I keep a journal (or at least something that I can write in) with me at all times, because I know that I will get the urge to write at least something down, even if it is only a few words.

Meditation is also a wonderful way to calm myself down. Even just a few minutes of solidarity and quiet allows me to get in touch with myself once again. Ignoring the chaos that is the world around us for even a short time can make all the difference. 

I guess that the primary reason that I'm choosing to write all of this today is for that very reason. It's so easy to fall into silly patterns in life, especially ones like overthinking. If you struggle with similar problems as this, remember this: if the issues that you are facing won't matter even a short time from now, then they aren't worth getting worked up about today.