The Cycle of a Long Distance Relationship

After four long months, I was finally reunited with my beloved boyfriend once again this past week. We have been in a long distance relationship for about one year now, and he has been in basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma since October.

Before going back to Oklahoma to graduate and then head to AIT training for the National Guard in Missouri until mid-March, we were able to spend five wonderful days together. It might not seem like much to the average person but, to us, it was everything.

I've written about long distance relationships and how to stay positive in them back in October of 2015, before my boyfriend left. I want to add on with a fresh perspective and more thoughts, especially for those who have never had to deal with the stress of a long distance relationship before.

When somebody means everything, distance becomes such a small concept. Even when the waiting feels like years, you can't really imagine being as excited for anything else.


Once the days start becoming fewer and the countdown decreases with each passing moment, the anticipation only heightens. Everything finally starts to fall into place, and the day that you know you will be together again consumes your wildest dreams.

The day finally comes. It's here. Butterflies fill your stomach like nothing that you have ever felt before, until at last - you see the one you love the most. A familiar spark flickers before your eyes and you simply can't believe how you managed to go without being in their arms for so long, because that is where your heart is.

Each and every second spent together is just one more second that you wouldn't want to spend with anyone else. Watching Grey's Anatomy for hours and venturing to art museums become some of the best times that you have had in a while. Together again with the love of your life, and nothing can destroy that feeling.

But then it comes. The day that you've been putting off in the back of your mind because you've been dreading it since before your love has even arrived - the day where they have to leave once again. Even waking up becomes a sad affair, because you don't want the contents of the rest of the day to occur.

You help them pack their things (as much as you don't want to) while jokingly attempting to get them to stay. As much as you don't want to leave each other, there are some things in life that just have to happen. You'll be together soon enough, but this is not the time.

The drive to the airport or to the bus station is one of the saddest trips to endure. There's so much that the both of you want to say, but it's too hard to express at this time. So, you sit in near silence as you promise yourself that you won't cry this time because you cry every single time and maybe this time will be different (spoiler alert: it won't be).

You help them get their luggage out, despite your best last efforts to get them to stay with you. You look at each other for a brief few seconds before embracing, and that's when the waterworks make their first big appearance.

Between final goodbyes and many wiped tears, you take one last look at each other before you depart ways. Leaving feels just a little bit emptier than it has the last few times, and the countdowns are reset.

Learning to cherish every little thing in life is a lesson that I believe everyone can take part in. No matter how tough things get or how different you wish that things were, appreciate what you do have.


And if you're in a long distance relationship right now,  just remember - miles can't separate two hearts that truly care.

Dear High School Girls

Over the weekend, circumstances brought me back to a high school. As a sophomore in college, it's been a while since I've been sitting on a set of gym bleachers, surrounded by high school students anxious to celebrate homecoming. One thing that really stuck out to me was the cliques of high school girls around me, and how I was in their place only a few years ago. It really got me thinking about how I wish someone had given me some advice while I was still there, so that's what I'm going to do now for you girls.

Stop getting yourself involved in "drama." It's petty, it isn't worth it, and it honestly amounts to nothing in the end.  When you graduate, are you even going to remember the reason why you stopped talking to your best friend for a week? Sure, you'll probably learn to laugh about it down the road, but there's no use in getting yourself worked up about something stupid.

Which brings me to my second point: boys. You don't have to try so hard to "impress" a guy that you like, and if you do, he's not someone that you want to be with. If you do have a boyfriend, make sure that you don't devote 100% of your time to him and only him. You're going to find that if you do that, you're going to lose valuable friendships along the way. You'll go through your fair share of heartbreak, but what you don't realize now is that you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to worry about relationships and finding someone that you want to be with. Chances are, you'll find him in the most unsuspecting place. For now, worry about finding yourself.

High school is one of the biggest opportunities to find out who you really are. If you want to join a club or take up a hobby that other people think is lame, do it anyways! The only thing that matters is if you are happy, not about "following the crowd." Be your own person and make your own happiness.

These four years are such a small portion of your life compared to what is to come. If you're going to college, you're going to discover that there's a whole world out there that you have yet to discover. Everything will work itself out, even if it doesn't seem like it. I promise that you will find happiness in the oddest of places. Right now, focus on your friendships and doing well in your classes. Forget the negative and do what you want to do, because in the end, it makes all the difference.

8 Ways to Stay Positive Through Distance

Distance sucks. There’s no way around it at all. Right now, I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is leaving for basic training in five days and I won’t be able to be with him or really talk to him all that much until January. Having not seen each other since August, we make time amidst our busy schedules to Face Time and talk on the phone while we still can. If you’re in a similar situation, here’s a list of eight ways to stay positive (from personal experience).

1.)  Look through old pictures.

Looking back on some of my favorite memories is something that lets me know that, even though we’re apart right now, there’s plenty of opportunities to make more in the future.

2.)  Keep yourself busy.

One thing that really helps me keep my mind from dwelling on negative thoughts is making sure that I have a lot on my plate, schedule-wise. I’m not saying get involved in so many things that you can't breathe, but do enough to keep yourself occupied. Having fun and doing what you love is important!  

3.)  When you are together, make every second count.

Cell phones and social media have a tendency to take over our attention spans, whether we realize it or not. When you actually are with each other, set the cell phones aside and put them on silent - the cell phones will be there everyday, but your significant other won’t be.

4.)  Motivate each other.

Being so far apart means being extra supportive for each other. You both have aspirations and dreams. Cheer them on, no matter what goals they have in mind. While you might not be there physically, let each other know that you’re always by their side.

5.)  Stay updated on each other’s lives.

If you haven’t always been a long distance couple, you might have been with them everyday once upon a time. If you can’t do that right now, ask each other how your days have been. Including funny details can make it seem like you’re not so far apart.

6.)  Remember to stay focused on yourself.

Obviously, you’re going to be missing your significant other a lot. Regardless, one of the most important things to keep in mind is to stay focused on yourself and what makes you happy. You know yourself better than anyone else, so make sure that you are okay before worrying or stressing out too much.

7.)  Surround yourself with people who love and care about you.

It’s not always going to be easy. You aren’t going to be cheery 100% of the time. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but it also leaves you with a temporary feeling of emptiness. Hang out with your friends and family as much as possible. Laugh, have fun, and look at the bright side of life instead of what you can’t change.

8.)  Count the days.

Remember, you aren’t going to be apart from each other forever. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow - but sometime in the future, you'll be together. Look forward to the day that you’re reunited with your loved one, and think of the sparkle that you’ll get in your eyes when you’re with each other once again.