For the Dazed and Confused

Lazy Sundays filled with listening to Vampire Weekend whilst drinking hot coffee and diving into books about modern art have instilled me with the inspiration to type out just what I have been feeling lately. Without further ado, here we go.

Lately, I've been stuck in my own thoughts more than I normally am. Bouncing back and forth within the four walls of my own mind, I've been trying to crack the code of what I truly want out of life. The only answer that I have come up with so far?

I don't know.

But do you know what else?

That's okay.

I'm the type of girl who enjoys the thrill of spontaneous adventures at two o'clock in the morning, but who also can't wait to be enveloped in the comfort of her own bed. I love to binge watch TV shows, but I also want to read for days at a time. I have aspirations to travel the entire world, but I can also be a bit of a homebody.

I have so many dreams that I want to pursue that I'm still unsure of what to place my finger on at the moment. Taking life on day at a time is one of the greatest challenges that I find myself continuously facing.

As much as I would love to have my life figured out by now, I'm also aware that that's not exactly going to happen. At nineteen-years old, I'm infatuated with the concept of having my future mapped out so that I have an idea of what is going to happen down the line. In order for that to happen, however, I need to have a solid grasp on what I want.

And right now, I'm not certain in what I want exactly because I want to experience everything.

I want to be able to live for myself. Do what I want, go where I want to go, and be who I want to without having to schedule my life around anyone else. I'm content with where I am right now, but there's also so much more that I want to get out of this short lifetime.

Dazed and confused is perhaps the best way to sum up my current predicament. I have a long journey ahead of me at such a young age, but I'm ready for it. I can't control everything and I will get to where I want to be in due time.

And if I do end up figuring everything out by some circumstantial one in a million chance, I'll be sure to let you know.

Finding and Following Your Passion

Ever since I can remember, I have had a distinct attachment to writing and the arts. I have always been attracted to the aspect of being able to make creations from ideas that I have in my mind and being able to bring them to life.

Even though I always knew that I had a passion for art and writing, I was always very timid about sharing some of my work with other people. For a long time, I lived in a constant state of thinking that what I had was not good enough in comparison to what someone else might have to offer. 

In high school, I was especially wary about my own writing until my AP English teacher encouraged me to enter myself into a regional writing contest. I had written a personal narrative on the harms of fracking from my family's experience, and she loved it. Hesitantly, I took her advice and submitted my piece. Two months later, I found out that I was a winner.

More often than not, stepping out of your comfort zone is the key to finding success. As Hunter S. Thompson once said, "Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing."

If you love to do something and find yourself getting excited about it, follow it. Don't let it die out or give up on it by settling for something less. There are opportunities to pursue what you want to do all around, whether you think so or not. Start by looking for them, even in the unlikeliest of places.

Take risks, be adventurous, and don't hesitate. Give it your all, and nothing less. You might be surprised at how happy you are in the place that you end up.

Cherishing the Little Things

Tonight, I chatted with my sister for awhile on the phone. I had caught a case of the writer's block in the middle of our conversation and asked her what I should write about. As I expected, she didn't really help at all, but we were still able to laugh excessively and have a great talk as we normally do.

It really just hit me a few minutes ago that she gave me my story idea on accident. Remembering to cherish the little moments is one of the most important things in life, from simple phone conversations to receiving great news. The picture above really sums it up for me: "Enjoy the little things in life, for someday you will realize they were the big things." I can't emphasize this enough.

Getting a good grade on a test, having a fun time with friends, or even just enjoying the scenery around you are all moments that are worth remembering and pausing for a second to take it all in. It's times like these that will leave you with the biggest smiles at some times.

So, in this shorter-than-usual post, I dare you to stop. Look at your surroundings, and think about all of the great things that you did or that happened to you today. Who did you talk with that made you happy, or what conversations made you smile? What did you see that caught your eye? What happened that was worth remembering? I can guarantee that everyone smiled at least once today or thought about a memory that they wish that they could go back to. Whatever it was, I challenge you to find it again and pursue it.

Seize the day.

How to Stay Focused On Right Now

Nostalgia seems to be my best friend. My memories get triggered by the simplest of things, including songs, quotes and pictures. I had an incredibly blessed childhood and am thankful for everyone and everything that I have in my life. Honestly, it's both a blessing and a curse.

I think back on some of my best memories, but some bad ones creep in every once in awhile, too. I understand that I can't really do anything about things that have happened, but that doesn't mean that I don't dwell on them every now and then.

As a student and a girl inching toward her twenties, the future is definitely a place that I fast forward to. I think about every possible scenario that could happen and the outcomes, and it can get me pretty stressed out. 

When I was in high school, my English teacher introduced the C.S. Lewis book "The Screwtape Letters" to my class. While discussing the book, she mentioned how it can be easy to find ourselves trapped in our past and worried about the future.

She also made a very strong point in saying that staying focused on the present is the important thing to do. I remember thinking about how difficult it was to imagine myself staying only in the present and not in my past or future.

I've been thinking about this a lot for some reason lately, and have found that maybe  took that out of context a bit. I realize now that, while we're meant to learn from the past, we aren't supposed to live in it. The same goes for the future; we can aspire to achieve goals and work towards fulfilling our dreams, but fearing it won't do us any good.

I guess that what I'm trying to say is, be happy with right now. Look around you, and think about everything that you've accomplished to get where you are right now. You've made it this far, congratulations! Now, focus on setting your future up, but be happy with now. Don't settle, and do the best you can in everything you do. Everything can and will work out in the end.

Why Wishful Thinking is Important

My personality can be best described as a dreamer. I constantly think of what I want for the future, who I want to become, and what I want to do with my life. Today's world has a tendency to say that we need to be more realistic, but I disagree.

Wishful thinking allows us to open the door of creativity in our minds. Imagination is key to success, especially when we have big plans for the future. Whether you hope to land a dream job or live in a big house with a wonderful family, hard work tends to pay off in the end. There's something magical about holding on to hope.

Ultimately, we have dreams because we want to pursue them and make them a reality. With enough perseverance and determination, we can. Regardless of the "social norm" or "realistic expectations," aiming to break this barrier is one step closer to reaching our goals.

We hope. We dream. We have faith that, someday and somehow, our wildest dreams will come true - and there's nothing wrong with that in the slightest.